If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
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