I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
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