i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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