this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
