if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
it glows. i had to have it.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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