last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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