We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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