The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
