i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
