I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just wanna soil my oats bro
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woke up backwards on a recliner
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
