She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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