I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
