fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
