mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
