After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
