The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
