Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
