Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
