There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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