i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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