I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
