He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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