once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize