I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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