Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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