I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
