Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
