Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize