he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
