these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
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