Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
