Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
