I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
