Just cropdusted the office
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
