I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We're too hungover to prance.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
