Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
