is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
