i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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