If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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