ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
