Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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