Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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