i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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