Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize