the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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