u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Randomize