I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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