This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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