halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This house was built for laser tag.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
