she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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