The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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