Nicole vs. Life
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You left your phone here
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