oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize