So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
