Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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