Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
