Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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