So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So many bounce houses so little time
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
