Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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