I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Mom said you looked used
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
