Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Two words: blizzard sex
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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