only if we run a train.
done.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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