I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
