PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
