You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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