D3 body, D1 cock
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
