am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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