I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
